XD

And so my gutt feeling might be right as i'm the not only one feeling that way.
Think i might have sprained my back ytd. crap.
One of those rare trainings that have been good but then again it has become more frequent which is making me feel a little crappy.

Tioman trip cancelled! ARGH!!! so much for a hideout. -.-

Off i go painting again tonight. XD

Noticed.

29March 2009!!! XDXDXDXD

无奈

I wonder how they had found out
Its makes me pissed
I feel kinda bad, i must remember not to in the future
对于这正件事, 有一种很无奈的感觉
但是我觉得我做得不够，还没全力以赴
可能是因为之前所发生的事吧
还是大家太看得起我了
话还是别多说，some things are better left unsaid.

I'm starting to get the feeling that this whole hols is gonna be like crap. i so damn want that fricking hols to tioman. XD

Well on the brighter side, i got teased by the np ppl. all i need to be and did was to act dumb. lol XD

Current song: 寂寞暴走 by Fahrenheit

空虚

I realised that its no longer the same as how it used to be anymore. I no longer find the relatedness or may be i actually didn't in the first place but a forced..? Its kinda weird.. Maybe due to my tiredness which caused me to think in such a manner. But i can help but think its true.. its something which i find much difficulty in doing actually.

不知道为什么最近有一点空虚的感觉。也许我在想太多吧。

好遥远的感觉。。。

The Forgotten Place

The walls of the building seen by public was nicely and beautifully painted, surrounding it was large areas of empty green fields. Countless fish ponds can be seen around the many buildings. Anyone there for the first time would think that they have just stepped into a paying class home or maybe a condo even. The place seems so alive yet dead. Its a place thats so beautiful, yet too beautiful for such a place. Simply put, unbelievable; unexpected. Its a pity that its beauty is hardly used though i can understand why it is so.

Entering within the building itself is like entering into another dimension. It is humane but then again looking at all the details...

I had imagine before how it would looked liked and was similiar to what had be described to me. But imagining and being in there in person is altogether another thing. I think i was hypoventilenting slightly due to the anxiety, fear or maybe not knowing what to expect for an hour till i finally saw them. They were not as percular as what i had in mind.

Leaving the grounds felt like i was back into a cilivised world. Their existence is known to everyone yet it seems to be foreign and forgotten by everyone. I won't deny that i belong to that category.

Personally i would prefer to be diagnosed and suffering from any disease/illness but mental illness. I will still want my human rights, freedom and ability to make decisions for myself. Neither do i want to take such medications that cause such terrible side effects. Hopefully their world is something and somewhere which i will remember for the rest of my life and no longer forgotten by me, myself. They are people whom i would like to help but i don't think i can every see myself working in such a confined environment.

Its a sad place.

Outcasted; Stigmatised